Are you my Prince Charming?
by Jenny UsPplz
Summary: Snow White was a spoiled princess; the Queen was an obsessive parent. Oh, how the tables have turned. COMPLETE (I added 5 chapters at once. XD)
1. Queen Eliza

Queen Eliza

Disclaimer: I don't own Snow White characters (I don't know who _does,_ but whatever… Just don't sue me.)

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?" the witch's words echoed through the empty halls of her dark castle.

"Eliza, _must_ we go over this again?" the mirror sighed, "you know very well that no matter how many times you ask this question, the answer will come out the same way!"

"_Edmond,_ who is the fairest one of all?" the witch reiterated, as she sat down on the wooden bench, next to the stained-glass window. She peered outside into the courtyard, where she noted her stepdaughter scrubbing the floors diligently.

The mirror groaned, "My queen, Snow White is the fairest one of all."

She happily replied, "Thank you, Edmond."

Edmond had been trapped in the enchanted mirror for ages by none other than his wife, Queen Elizabeth, when she had been working on her latest potion. He had wanted to grow a larger, bushier mustache. But in a freak accident, his alter-ego, hidden inside the mirror, had grabbed him and had pulled him into the mirror. He had been stuck there for the past fifteen years. Now the enchanted mirror, rather than reflecting the user's alter-ego, showed Edmond the way he looked the day of the incident.

His wife explained, still staring out of the beautiful window, "I've been testing my latest potions on Snow. Remember how she used to look when she just a couple years ago? When she was sixteen? She was the ugly duckling, opposed to your other gorgeous daughters. What with their blond hair and blue eyes and flawless skin, how could she compete for a husband? So, I created a few beauty potions for her. It removed those bothersome freckles, straightened and whitened her teeth, got rid of those disgusting pimples… Yup, there'll be a prince calling for her any day now. Any day n—" Her eyes widened looking out of the window.

There was a man climbing over the wall protecting her castle. Because the window was stained glass, she couldn't see the intruder clearly. "Eliza? What is it?" the mirror asked, excited. Wanting a better view, she hurried out of the room and down the hall, into another just as gloomy looking room. Rushing towards the window, she peeled back the blood red curtains. The man, quickly approaching Snow White, was wearing a large hat with an enormous white feather sticking out of it. Snow White seemed flustered and was blushing furiously. Elizabeth saw that their mouths were moving, but she couldn't hear them because of the blasted window. Pressing her face close to the glass, so that her nose squished a little, she attempted to get a better view. Snow White's head turned slowly, and Snow White screamed, horrified to see her stepmother spying on her and her unexpected visitor. The man, realizing the danger of dating the daughter of an evil witch, sprinted over the fence, landed on his horse, and galloped away into the horizon.

_Oh boy…, _Elizabeth let her body fall onto the wooden bench next to the window. She heard the tip-tapping of her stepdaughter's shoes on the hard cobblestone floor.

"HOW DARE YOU? **HOW DARE YOU?** **_HOW DARE YOU?_**" Snow White yelled, not even fully inside the room. Her jet black hair was in disarray from running up the stairs so quickly. Her small hands were clenched into tight fists, as her body stiffened from anger.

"I was only trying to help—"

"HELP? Do you call spying on me and Prince Arthur –"

"**_Prince Arthur?_**" the queen echoed in obvious disbelief. Prince Arthur was the son of the extremely famous _King_ Arthur, who had apparently won his fame by pulling a rusty sword out of an ancient, moldy rock.

"Yes, Prince Arthur! He was so perfect for me! But now, look what your big nose has gotten me into!" the princess began to cry, still glaring daggers at her stepmother.

The witch bit her lip, knowing that it was probable that her daughter would never see Prince Arthur again, "Oh, but look on the bright side, honey. If he does come back, we'll know he truly cares for you—"

"Oh, shut up! Just shut up!" tears were now streaming down Snow White's face, making her usually cheery, hazel eyes seem puffy and swollen. She glared a final glare at her stepmother and angrily stormed out of the room.

_She is so... ARGH, _Snow White fumed, still frustrated, as she marched down the ice cold steps to her quarters. She looked down at her gown, dirty with scrubbing the floors. It had been her punishment for sneaking into Queen Elizabeth's secret room. _Prince Arthur must think I'm such a peasant in these dirty, awful, petty clothes! _She quickened her pace to her room, wanting to change into something nicer. Upon entering her exquisitely furnished room, she promptly marched up to her humongous closet and pulled out about thirteen dresses. About to put one on, she stopped, as a little light bulb lit up in her head. _The only way she'll ever respect me, is if I can prove I'm equal to her! Oh, but how will I… oh yes! That's a great idea!_ Her smile widened, as a sickening plan developed in her head. She hurriedly buttoned up the gown, and packed away the dozen leftover dresses into a large cloth bag, which she pulled out from under her bed. It was going to be a long journey, starting tonight.

The Queen paced, quietly in her room, _I hope she isn't still mad at me…_

"Eliza, if you insist on wearing the floor out, which it seems you are attempting to do, kindly take off your shoes. Their clopping on the floor is giving me a headache," Edmond, apparently unfazed his wife's distress, had been disgruntled ever since the Queen had explained the accident with Prince Arthur. He had warned Eliza that Snow White was like her biological mother: stubborn as a mule. And if Eliza had been just a tad bit less nosy, Snow White would have warmed up to her long ago. _But did Eliza listen? Noo… _he crossed his arms and shook at his head at the floor.

The witch began, "I'm going to check on her—"

"Oh, no! Not this time!" he attempted to sound threatening, "You're going to stay right here!" He emphasized his point by pointing emphatically at the ground.

She inattentively waved him off with a dismissive hand, "I'll let you know how she's feeling. Good day." And with that she walked gracefully out of the room, leaving a flustered mirror in her wake.

Eliza quickened her pace as she rushed down the doorway. She muttered "Illum" under her breath, and immediately a candle around the corner lit up, illuminating the deep dark hallway, leading to her stepdaughter's quarters. Upon reaching the tall oak door, she knocked lightly on the door, "Snow?... Snow? Do you hear me?"

She sighed longingly at the door…

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	2. An Unexpected Meeting

An Unexpected Meeting

Disclaimer: I don't own Snow White characters (I don't know who _does,_ but whatever… Just don't sue me.)

Upon reaching the tall oak door, she knocked lightly on the door, "Snow?... Snow? Do you hear me?"

"SNOW! Please open the door!" the Queen knocked more forcefully on the door.

"SNOW, THIS ISN'T FUNNY! PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!" the door stood stock still.

The Queen angrily ground her teeth, "MISS SNOW MERCÉDÈS WHITE, IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT **_NOW_**, I'LL KNOCK THE DOOR RIGHT OFF ITS HINGES! JUST YOU WATCH!" The Queen angrily rolled up the frilly sleeves of her dress and waited a short while, but the door stood stock still. Reaching the end of her patience, she yelled, "_DIS—_ ACHOO!" She was in such a fury she had inhaled a fly, and apparently her nose didn't take it well because she started a sneezing fit, all the while a poor fly stuck up her left nostril. Suddenly out of nowhere, a long red stick flew out of the floor straight at Eliza's nose and stuck to the fly, pulling it out!

Eliza, clutching her aching nose, cried, "What is the world coming to! First Snow rendezvous with Prince Arthur; next thing you know, long red sticks are flying out of the ground, taking flies out of people's noses—"

"I _do_ beg your pardon!" said a new voice indignantly, "I'm not some _long red stick!_ I am the great Prince Philip!" Eliza looked around wildly for Prince Philip, but she was curiously unable to find him. _Wait… Prince Philip? Why does this ring a bell? _About to go and check another part of the castle, she called out, "Where are you?"

"I'm down here, you dimwit!" Prince Philip's irritated voice replied.

The Queen searched the floor, but all she could see was a dead rat and an extremely overweight frog. "Where?" She had an eerie feeling that the amphibian was talking to her.

The frog's slimy lips moved, "You're staring right at me."

Eliza paled slightly. Now, she realized why "Prince Philip" rang a bell. A few years ago, three Princesses lived in the castle: Rapunzel, Jasmine, and Snow. Jasmine was whisked off by a handsome lunatic who thought he was a Prince, leaving just Snow and Rapunzel at the dark castle. Rapunzel was furious to be nearly the last daughter to not yet have found a husband; so, she began to host more balls, where she flirted with all of the rich men like a brazen hussy. Outraged, Eliza sentenced Rapunzel to a month's grounding. The belligerent teenager created a foolproof plan to get back at her mother. A few days later, in the dead of night, she snuck into Eliza's secret room and made a special potion. She continued taking the potion in small doses everyday, and soon her hair had grown to a length of fifty feet, long enough to reach the floor of the castle. She then used Eliza's trained crow to send a message to a Prince in a nearby kingdom. The Prince responded by rushing to the castle on horseback in the dead of night. Once he reached the door of the castle, he called out to the anxious Princess, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!" She willingly threw her thick braided blonde hair out of the window, where the Prince attempted to climb it. But everybody knows that hair isn't that strong, and while the clueless Prince was halfway up the castle wall, Rapunzel's hair simply broke. Every single strand of hair that the Prince had been holding onto for dear life snapped, giving the Princess terrible split ends, not to mention formidable pain. Rapunzel cried out in horror to see the Prince make a large thud as he hit the ground. With terribly bad timing, Queen Eliza rushed out of her quarters, to find an aching Prince on the ground and Rapunzel clutching her burning scalp. The Queen jumped to conclusions, and immediately accused the innocent lad. Rapunzel simply nodded her head in approval, so as to not be grounded even longer. Eliza whispered a curse under her breath, which immediately turned the aching Prince into an extremely overweight frog. A few days later Rapunzel ran away with some other Prince, and they never saw her again. The poor original Prince, now a frog, simply lived in a pond humbly, waiting for a kind Princess to kiss him. But every good witch knows that for every curse there is a counter-curse. If the frog Prince was kissed by a beautiful, young Princess, he would be restored to his original state. It's too bad that Prince Philip was just too disgusting for any reasonable Princess to consider even touching.

The frog continued, rather regally considering he was simply an ugly, overweight frog, "Ahem, if you will please stop reminiscing in the past, as it is apparent you are doing, we can discuss the matter at hand: your runaway daughter Snow White."

The Queen suddenly snapped to attention, "What! My daughter Snow White hasn't run away! She—"

"She _has_ and if you insist on wasting time, I'll continue to let you rant." The frog was apparently a very unsocial person, but the Queen was suddenly quiet.

Out of the blue, Eliza bolted up the steps, holding the front of her blue gown with her fists. She rushed into a room, as the frog still slowly hopped up the steps, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, is Snow White within these castle walls?"

Edmond simply answered, "No, my Queen… She is not."

The Queen furrowed her brow, "Maybe you misunderstood me; is Snow Mercédès White on the castle grounds?"

"No, my Queen… She is not."

"What do you mean 'She is not!' She _must_ be here! I demand to know where she is—" Eliza ranted.

"I _told_ you that if you wanted to waste time, I'd let you continue to rant, but please rant _after_ my explanation!" Prince Philip huffed, extremely tired from jumping up the steps. The Queen pursed her lips but picked up the frog and placed it unceremoniously on the bed, where it hopped into a comfortable position. "Where should I begin? I suppose the very beginning will do…"

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	3. The Explanation

The Explanation

Disclaimer: I don't own Snow White characters (I don't know who _does,_ but whatever… Just don't sue me.)

"A couple of weeks ago, my dear frog friend Villefort disappeared. My fellow frogs and I simply couldn't find Villefort around the pond. We searched everywhere for him, but we came to the conclusion that some poor young lady probably kissed him, turning him back into a Prince. You should know that he was an extremely ambitious frog, and he would do anything to get his hands on a fortune similar to what he had once had. It was a few days later, that I heard from a friend of a friend of a friend (you get the picture) that Snow White was the Princess who had given Villefort the curing kiss. After spending the last two weeks hopping to this castle, hoping to find a Princess here to kiss _me_, I saw Villefort _as a human_ outside of these castle gates.

"He was nearly unrecognizable as a human, especially since I had only known him as a fellow amphibian. But there is one characteristic I noticed about this human, he had a strange habit of sticking his tongue out when a fly passed by. Through a hole in the bottom of the wall, I watched him carefully, as he talked with Snow White. They had flirted with each other for nearly an hour. His actions confirmed that he was indeed the strange, ambitious Villefort that I knew. Suddenly, they stared horrified at a window, but it was difficult for me to see what they were looking at: a frog's eyes aren't too reliable.

"Anyway, I saw Villefort jump over the castle wall, onto his brown mare, which he had probably stolen. I attempted to follow him as he galloped away, and luckily he hadn't traveled very far, perhaps only a hundred yards. I caught up with Villefort, just as he was changing clothes. (Why are you blushing so, Queen Eliza?) Anyways, he wasn't changing into Prince-like clothing; he was changing into a hunter's clothes, which he had probably stolen along with his horse.

"I stared at him for a while; he seemed to be waiting for something. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a sweet, beautiful lady stumble on a patch of daffodils. She was carrying a large bag, filled to the brim with extravagant dresses. I suddenly realized that she was Snow White!

"'Who are you?' Snow White asked, apparently unaware that the man standing in front of her was her lover.

"'I'm a hunter sent by Queen Eliza to kill you. And to put your heart," Villefort unusually deep voice lied, as he pulled out a box from his belt, "in this!" His other hand reached for his dagger—"

The Queen suddenly exclaimed, "Noo! Snow, I—"

"Hush up! I'm not finished with the story, you dimwit!" the frog answered to the stark white Queen. She sat down, realizing that there was no way that she could help her daughter if she rushed off without the information. The frog cleared his throat, "Villefort pulled it out threateningly, but just as he was about to deal her the death blow, he stopped and dropped the dagger. 'You must run away,' he had told her fiercely, 'You must run away, or the Queen will get you!'

"Snow white had simply followed his instructions and had rushed off with her bag into The Forest of Illusions. I rushed here as soon as I could to tell you the news…"

"You didn't go chase her!" the Queen rudely interrupted, although she was extremely relieved to hear her stepdaughter had gotten away from the murderous Villefort.

"Of course not! It would have been foolish to not come and tell you! Besides, I need something…" his green frog lips smirked.

The Queen grimaced. _This frog won't get even a peck of a kiss from me, if that's what he's thinking about…_

"Oh, don't worry, Madame. A kiss from you is useless to me: you're just a Queen, and not a _beautiful_ Princess." He glowered, "I command you to get one of your other daughter's here this instant so that they may kiss me and turn me into the beautiful, handsome, courageous, daring, amazing Prince I once was!"


	4. What To Do

What To Do

Disclaimer: I don't own Snow White characters (I don't know who _does,_ but whatever… Just don't sue me.)

The Queen frowned, "But I have no more daughters… All I have is Snow White…"

Prince Phillip faltered, "Well, then… then, we must go and find Snow White immediately so that I can be turned into a Prince!" The Queen nodded in agreement.

"Edmond?" She turned to see the mirror watching attentively. It was obvious he had been listening to his daughter's adventure. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, _where_ is the fairest one of all?"

Edmond replied, "She lives among seven dwarfs in a cottage near the Forest of Illusions."

The Queen frowned, unsatisfied with his answer. There were hundreds of cottages dotting the edge of the Forest of Illusions, "Fine, then. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who are these dwarves? Please name them all!"

"They are Doc, Happy, Dopey, Grumpy, Sleepy, Bashful, and Sneezy. They also call themselves 'The Marxist Midgets…'" Edmond's eyebrows rose from the information coming out of his mouth.

The Queen paled again, for the third time that day, "The M-M-Marxist M-Midgets?" They were a notoriously violent group which was planning on overthrowing her peaceful monarchy, in order to instill Communism. "But… they'll harm Snow White!"

The frog interrupted, "No, they'll use her to get to you! Don't you see?" The Queen looked at him with a flustered look. The frog sighed, "You royals really are dimwits. Don't you see that they're going to use Snow White to get to you?"

The frog sighed, exasperated, "Villefort wants Snow White to hate you. So, he pretended to be a hunter who was instructed to kill her. This forced her into the forest, where she was probably rescued by some poor forest animals that also support a Communist revolution. After all, Marxism is supposed to erase poverty, which most tiny forest creatures live in. Then, Villefort will marry Snow White. Then he'll help the Communists instill their Marxism. It'll fail, and he'll be the powerful monarch. Not to mention that he'll have the support of the people..."

The Queen groaned, "Then what can _I_ do? I very well can't go over to Snow White, now that she thinks I'm some crazy stepmother out to kill her daughter, and whisk her off to the castle to save her from a crazy murderer, who she thinks is Prince Charming!" She fell onto the bed.

The frog's large eyes twitched, "You're a witch! Use your powers or spells or potions or all that other voodoo you guys do!" The frog seemed simply put out by having to think up everything for the flustered mother.

Eliza suddenly snapped up to attention, as if she had just hatched an idea. She ran to her closet, picked up the ugliest black dress she had, and headed to the kitchen, where she grabbed a dozen apples and a basket. She then continued to her secret room, where she shut the door behind her and began to get to work.


	5. Out of the Ordinary

Out of the Ordinary

Disclaimer: I don't own Snow White characters (I don't know who _does,_ but whatever… Just don't sue me.)

Snow White pointed emphatically at the dirty house, "I'll go take a nap in one of those tiny little beds upstairs, but I want this place spotless by the time I get up!" All of the tiny little forest animals glared at the spoiled Princess, who was now heading upstairs for her beauty sleep. The only thing stopping these cute little murderous animals from pulling out all of Snow White's lovely hair was the dwarves' orders to not harm the Princess… yet.

Just as the little animals were finishing up the cleaning of the cottage, seven tiny men came bustling in through the doorway, bringing in a cloud of dust. The animals grunted in disapproval, and the dwarves kindly stepped out, cleaned their shoes, and walked back in. They immediately tiptoed upstairs and pressed their ears against the wood door. They could hear loud snoring on the other side. Doc turned to the others, then muttered, "OK, just like we practiced it, OK, boys?" They nodded, understanding the plan.

They gathered around the sleeping Snow White. She seemed so peaceful that the dwarves had to double-take to verify that she was indeed the daughter of the "evil" monarch.

"Are you sure it's her? It's hard for me to tell… Is this really Snow Wh—" Sleepy began, using his pointer fingers to lift up his eyelids, which constantly drooped. The dwarves had immediately shushed him, but it was too late, Snow White's eyelids began to flutter open. Doc pursed his lips, but indicated to the other dwarves using sign language to improvise their plan.

"Oh!" Snow White cried in surprise to see seven little men hovering around her. She immediately clutched the sheets to her chest, but once she made sure she was decently dressed, she eased her grip.

"Don't be alarmed, Princess," Doc began, "We're just humble little dwarves in the middle of the forest. Of course, we're not doing anything illegal or anything that would in any way harm the monarchy…" The other men snickered, but attempted to keep a straight face, as Snow White looked questioningly at them.

"What brings you here?" Bashful blushed, happy to be able to say his line without stuttering.

Snow White told them her story, and they pretended to be surprised and to be sympathetic towards her. Immediately seeing that they agreed with her, Snow White soon considered them friends. And when they invited her to stay at their home, she graciously accepted.

The Princess picked up quickly on their routine. First, the dwarves would leave for work. Then, "Prince Arthur" would come and visit. She didn't know how he found out where she was staying at, but as long as he was there, she never felt lonely. After he left, the dwarves would come home, ready to eat dinner. Then, everyone would go to bed and sleep. It was a simple, monotonous routine. And soon, she was sick of it.

One day, something out of the routine happened; a haggard old woman, carrying a basket filled to the brim with ripe red apples, knocked at the door. After refusing to let her come in, Snow White immediately saw the bluebirds attack the poor old woman. The Princess quickly shooed the flying pests away and rushed to help the limping old lady, who seemed to be confused which leg she should be limping on. Snow White led her to a bench where she gave the old lady some water to drink.

After taking a deep gulp, the old lady smiled slyly at Snow White, "Thank you so much, young lady. You deserve a reward for helping a poor old lady like myself…" She reached over to her basket and picked up one of the blood red apples. "_Here, have an apple…"_

Snow White bit her lip, "Oh, I don't know if I should…"

"But this is no ordinary apple! It's an _enchanted _apple! It will make _all your dreams come true!_"

Snow White frowned, but took the apple anyway. She put it into her pocket. The old lady frowned, "Why won't you eat it? Don't you know that these apples are only good for a couple of days…"

"I'm just going to save it for la—"

"EAT IT!" The old lady yelled in an unladylike manner.

The Princess hastily bit into the apple, and immediately felt faint. Her knees wobbled as she tried to steady herself with her hand, pressing onto the tabletop. She fell to the ground only seconds later, leaving the old woman watching her. "Don't worry, honey. I'll help you…" The Queen lifted up Snow White and began to head outside.

_Wow! That lightening charm really does work… _The Queen smiled, glad that she remembered to put a charm on the apples to make the consumer eighty pounds lighter. Snow White was getting gradually heavier, as the spell began to wear off, making Elizabeth slow down. Soon, the stepmother was so tired, she had to set Snow White down and rest. After resting, she tried to remember which direction she should be going in. She examined the area. _Wait…I don't remember a hill being that big… And I don't remember this ravine being here… Oh! There's the Windy River at the bottom of the ravine! I know where we are! _She smiled, and then attempted to pick up sleeping Princess…


	6. Beauty Sleep

Beauty Sleep

Disclaimer: I don't own Snow White characters (I don't know who _does,_ but whatever… Just don't sue me.)

When out of the blue, seven little midgets, led by a herd of forest animals, charged at her down the hill! The Queen attempted to run, but with Snow White's weight, the dwarves had an easy time catching up. Doc and Grumpy came out from behind and pulled Snow White out of Eliza's arms, and Sleepy tripped the horrified Queen.

"GET HER!" Happy yelled through his beard, and the rest of the men lunged at the haggard old lady, piling top of her. Eliza groaned as Happy began to tie her wrists and ankles tightly with rope. "Now, OFF TO THE RIVER!" Happy patted his belly, proud of getting to yell out commands as the other dwarves did the work.

The dwarves did their little march towards the edge of the ravine. Their feet crushed the crisp grass underfoot, then Happy exclaimed again, "NOW, ONE… TWO… **_THREE!"_**

"WEEEEEE!" They launched the enraged Queen off the ravine, into the river below.

It is common knowledge that dwarves are not smart. After all, with their tiny bodies, including a tiny head, they have an extremely tiny brain. They launched the Queen into the river, thinking she would most certainly drown, but as seen during the Salem witch trials, **witches can swim!**

The Queen immediately sunk under the murky water, and she turned her body and used her feet to do the dolphin kick. Managing to get a decent distance away before coming up for air, she turned her body and swam to the edge of the river. She awkwardly pulled herself onto the shore and began to search for a sharp rock. She hopped around on her tightly bound legs for nearly an hour, until she finally found a large enough rock to use to cut her ropes. Eliza used it as a saw, and only a few minutes later, she had all of her limbs free.

She used a counter spell, and her haggard body was turned back into its youthful state, making her feel much more comfortable. She sat down on the soft green grass, _And I was SO close! ARGH! Well, the least I can do is go back to the castle and get Edmond... Then I can escape before those retched Communist take care of their blasted revolution…_ She mentally cursed. She rested her body on the ground and fell quickly in a deep slumber, but her mind still wandered, thinking about Snow white.

"Oh would you stop getting your beauty sleep at a time like this!" A familiar voice popped up. Elizabeth immediately jolted up and reached for her dagger. She looked around hastily, and then noticed a distinct frog sitting on the floor, staring at her.

Prince Phillip glowered, "You've been knocked out for several days now, did you know?" At seeing the expression on her face, he continued, "I thought not. Well, lucky for you, **_I've_** been awake, getting information about Snow White and the revolution. Apparently, you overdosed her apple, giving her an eternal slumber, and the revolution failed. Good job!" The Queen blinked several times, not comprehending any of the information. _It's too early to be talking about eternal sleep and revolutions—Wait!_

"What do you mean Snow White's in an eternal sleep!" The Queen spattered.

"Just what I said, she's going to be asleep until she finds her true love or until you give her the antidote. You should know this best: you're a witch for goodness sake! Oh, and by the way, the dwarves wanted to make a good impression with the forest animals, so they put her in a fancy, glass coffin. How nice of them…" He added sarcastically.

"Oh," The Queen frowned, "Then what did you mean about the revolution failing?"

"My goodness! I mean what I say, and I said the Communist Revolution failed! The leader, Villefort or Prince what's-his-name – Arthur, that's it— was found out to be a fraud. The **_real_** Prince Arthur came a couple of days ago and challenged the **_fake_** Prince Arthur to a duel. The **_fake_** Prince Arthur lost horribly to the **_real_** Prince Arthur because the **_fake_** Prince Arthur was out of practice from being a frog for so long."

The Queen looked confused and asked, "So, basically Villefort is dead?"

"If you must be a simpleton, YES, he lost." Prince Philip looked exasperated.

The Queen smiled slightly, "Then, all we have to worry about is Snow White?"

"I can take care of **_her_**," The frog smiled, "She needs to wake up; I need to be a Prince. Bada-bing-bada-boom!" He snapped his fingers suggestively and puckered his lips.

The Queen winced. _Great. My daughter, who happens to be in an eternal sleep, is going to be awoken by a nice, helpful, but still disgusting frog…_

The pushed herself off the ground using her palms, "Well," she brushed the dirt off her black robes, "I guess we should go find her."

"I guess we should."


	7. Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

Disclaimer: I don't own Snow White characters (I don't know who _does,_ but whatever… Just don't sue me.)

­­­­­­

six months later

"OH, PRINCE PHILIP!" a melodious voice echoed through the halls of the over-decorated castle.

A handsome young lad with deep curly brown hair sauntered into the room, "Hello—NO! NOT THOSE BLASTED PAPERS AGAIN!" he yelled at seeing a stack of documents on the desk in front of his wife.

"But we have to finish all of the wedding planning! Don't you want a nice, big, traditional wedding, froggy-poo?" Snow White frowned.

"Don't you call me _froggy-poo, _little miss!" the Prince pursed his lips. His dark green robes made him look oddly like an oversized frog.

"But—Fine. Don't plan it. After all, you're just the stupid, old, cranky, irritable, dumb, dumb groom!" Snow White threw her pen at the floor, and her eyes began to tear.

"Don't cry, honey! It's just—Well— I—Er…"Philip shifted uncomfortably as her sobbing grew louder, "Just don't cry, honey! I'll do the papers, don't worry!" He picked up the black pen, "Here we go…Curtains, what do you want them to be? Black? Red? Blue?..."

Little did the couple know that there was another couple watching them, "So, Edmond. I guess this means a happily ever after?"

"I guess it does. I guess it does."

And everyone lived happily ever after... except for the dwarves…

"SHUT UP, DOC! This is all your fault!" Grumpy attempted to throw one of the rocks they were supposed to be smashing up at a frustrated dwarf.

"MY FAULT! You're the one who hired that stupid frog prince!" Doc threw a heavy stone, but missed Grumpy by several feet.

"Then this is all Happy's fault! HE TOLD ME TO!"

Sneezy joined in the rumble, "So –ACHOO!— you do what everyone tells you to – ACHOO!— do!"

"Ya'll don't gang up on he! Him's not him's fault!" Dopey yelled.

Happy ran into the heated argument, "You're too stupid to know what your talking about, Dopey!"

"WHY YOU!" Dopey slapped at the overly joyful dwarf. Soon, there was a large slapping fight between the seven midgets.

The guards watching the jail cell muttered to each other, "What a bunch of girly men."

"Well, I guess this means happily ever after—"

"I want to say it!"

"But—"

"AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER, THE END!"


End file.
